You Can Negotiate Anything By Herb Cohen: The Parable of the Pie

A brother and sister have been squabbling over some leftover pie, with each insisting on the larger slice.

Each wants to get a big piece and not be cheated by the sibling.

Just as the boy has gained control of the knife and poised to hack off the lion’s share for himself, the mother arrives on the scene.

Black and white drawing of a mother intervening as her son and daughter argue over cutting a pie, with the boy holding a knife to slice it and the girl angrily protesting. — A mother steps in with wisdom, ensuring fairness as her children argue over who gets the bigger slice of pie.

In the tradition of King Solomon, the parent says, “Hold it! I don’t care who cuts the pie. But whoever cuts the pie must give the other the right to select the piece they want.”

Naturally, to protect himself, the boy cuts the pie into two pieces of equal size.

Source: You Can Negotiate Anything (By Herb Cohen)

Life Lessons from the Parable of the Pie

i. You can negotiate anything

Yes, anything. Even in the most difficult and complex circumstance or relationship. You are only limited by the walls you’ve created in your mind.

ii. There’s always a WIN-WIN solution, find it!

This is the hardest part. No one wants to take time to listen, to clear their mind, to think critically, to reflect, to ask questions, to analyse, to be humble, to put themselves in the other parties’ shoe.

These are what will help you see a WIN-WIN solution where others see an impasse.

iii. Focus on the problem, not the protagonists

Most people have the tendency to focus on the personalities involved in the problem instead of focusing on the problem and resolving it.

They focus on the other parties’ race, tribe, gender, age, their pasts, and even their complexion!

Copy-Paste these Prompts to ChatGPT to Negotiate Smarter

Drop these prompts straight into ChatGPT, personalise with your own situation, and let the conversation guide you toward clarity and solutions you might not have seen on your own.

1. Negotiation Mindset Prompt

Help me develop a negotiation mindset for this situation: [describe your conflict briefly]. Identify the limiting beliefs that might be making me think it’s not negotiable, and explain how I can reframe those beliefs so I see options instead of walls. Suggest at least three alternative approaches I haven’t considered, and show me practical ways to shift my thinking so I’m open to creative solutions.

2. Win-Win in High-Emotion Situations Prompt

I’m dealing with this high-emotion conflict: [describe briefly]. Walk me through a clear process to calm down before I try to resolve it, then help me identify what both sides truly need—not just what we’re demanding. Suggest creative options that could allow both sides to gain something valuable, and write a possible script I could use to begin the conversation in a collaborative and respectful tone.

3. Problem-Not-People Prompt

I keep focusing on the person instead of the problem in this situation: [insert details]. Break down the core issue I should actually be solving, point out how my biases (like age, past mistakes, gender, or personal history) might be clouding my judgment, and suggest ways to reframe the conflict so it’s about the issue, not the individual. Also give me practical phrases I can use that target the problem without attacking the person.

Let’s Hear From You

What other lessons can you learn from the above parable?